


I Can Count on You (Like 4, 3, 2)

by gunboots



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Epic Friendship, F/M, Frenemies, Gen, JJ is bad at making friends, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Otabek doesn't know what friends are, Platonic Relationships, bless the bisexual mess that is Jean-Jacques Leroy, this is just an excuse to write JJ and Otabek as friends who aren't friends, yandere undertones Otabek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9249962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: JJ isn’t a friend, however, Otabek considers him good practice for what one should feel like.He’s not sure what they are—definitely more than acquaintances, especially now. JJ is hard to define, Otabek finds that putting a label to whatever their relationship was, is daunting.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seiteis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seiteis/gifts).



> This is a lot longer and sadder/hostile than I expected it to be and kind of a reflection of my feelings about Otabek and JJ. I just wanted fanfic where Otabek and JJ were best friends since they are essentially bizarro Rin and Sousuke AUs in a way. I blame meta posts talking about parallels between their routines, [THIS POST](http://gunboots.tumblr.com/post/154467063821/saraharinam-the-fact-that-otabek-jj-shared-the), and ofc Julie who enabled with the exchange: 'lol so JJ and Otabek are gonna end up together or bitter exes cause VAs' and then...well, ep 10-11 happened and we were shook. Also an excuse to write JJ and Otabek as shitty teens because fandom forgets and it's like guys come on--they're like prime douchebag age. 
> 
> I did a few edits but I'm sure I'll need to do more lol. Title is from Bruno Mars 'Count on Me'.

It's JJ who approaches Otabek first.

They've shared training camps before—they're contemporaries, so it’s not like Otabek doesn’t know who JJ is. He’s just surprised. It’s not even the first day of the camp either—they’ve barely acknowledged each other the past two days, so the sudden contact is strange.

Otabek is hardly social or responsive, takes JJ’s proffered hand with a raised brow.

“Listen—we’re the only teenagers here and we’re going to be competing together—the least we can do is be civil towards each other.” JJ explains, drawing back his hand—Otabek expects him to be offended. JJ isn’t, he looks almost bashful. “I…I probably should’ve introduced myself earlier but you seemed like you didn’t want to be bothered.”

“I didn’t.” Otabek doesn’t mean to be rude, he knows that JJ does have a point; they’ll need to at least be cordial, and yet it comes out of his mouth faster than he means it to. He doesn’t mean any hostility—Otabek’s a loner by nature and he thought JJ was too. Ice skating is a solitary sport for the most part, at least their division—he doesn’t understand what there is to gain by forcing camaraderie.

Otabek can’t blame JJ for the societal politics of ice skating though, and there’s no real reason to punish him for the olive branch—it’s not like JJ is asking to be his friend after all, just trying to be polite.

Otabek holds out his hand this time, his attempt at a smile probably more rueful than he means it to be.

JJ still reciprocates the handshake, grin-wide.

\---

For two people who are nearly the same age, he and JJ can’t be more different. It’s not the obvious such as nationality (because the ice doesn’t recognize basic boundaries such as that): it’s personality, it’s skating style, it’s—well, it’s everything.

JJ doesn’t care instead he bolsters on: goes out of his way to keep talking to Otabek, some weird stream of dialogue that seems half pointed attempts to get a rise out of him and then actual stream of consciousness (he’s one of the few people Otabek’s met that doesn’t seem that rankled by Otabek’s silence, overwhelmingly the opposite actually.) JJ doesn’t exactly cling to him during their off periods on practice, but he makes small talk in the locker room, offers to get lunch and dinner with him, even smiles at him over the rink.

Otabek doesn’t really respond much to his enthusiasm (he doesn’t even know WHY JJ is doing all of this) much, yet JJ doesn’t seem bothered by it. It’s not like it’s taking anything away from Otabek (the constant talking is something to get used to—he treats it like background noise and JJ doesn’t seem offended in the slightest) so, he lets it happen.

They’re still not friends—JJ doesn’t ask for his contact info, Otabek doesn’t bother giving it—but they do keep each other company, which Otabek in his more private moments is thankful for. (It’s daunting to be in a foreign country and it always will be no matter how much time passes, at least Otabek is a little less alone this time around).

\---

Otabek doesn’t have friends—mostly he doesn’t bother trying to make any. There’s no one who cares about immensely outside of immediate family that he needs in his life.

There is one notable exception though.

Otabek dreams of the day that he can approach Yuri Plisetsky, that they could be rivals, competitors, and friends. He hopes desperately to make Yuri his first friend—to be able to weave Yuri into his life both on and off the rink.

He never tells these fantasies to anyone, never says them aloud, keeps them locked inside for him and him alone.

He certainly never tells JJ, who’s nosy and pushy and a steady intrusion whenever he’s around. Otabek waves him and his strange flights of fancy off—eventually he and Yuri would compete together and that would be enough.

\---

It’s not exactly that JJ and Otabek have signals or anything—they just both tend to gravitate towards each other whenever they’re forced into social functions. Everyone is so much older, so much more talented (there’s an air of anticipation—this is their competition, these are NOT their heroes) then they are. Otabek already finds pointless niceties difficult, now that his career runs on it—it’s more than a little daunting.

Thankfully JJ always seems to find him. They’re teenagers competing against adults and genius is both a blessing and a curse—having someone near his age around helps keeps his head straight.

“They won’t let us drink, we can’t eat for another hour and people keep talking AT me not TO me.” JJ says, perceptive in moments that Otabek never expects. They’ve snuck onto the veranda to escape the noise of the banquet inside. ‘Banquet’ in theory—they had an exhibition skate earlier and for some strange reason, cocktail hour has lasted longer than expected. Otabek’s been getting progressively irritated, he’s thankful JJ saved him from making any more small talk before his patience had run out.

“I know they did it to you too—I’m not sure if it’s because we’re both the youngest but it’s really annoying.” JJ continues, eternal smirk waning as he takes out a chocolate bar from his pocket. “What do they even want from us?”

Otabek shrugs, taking in the fresh air outside and content to be free from the stifling presence of so many people at once.

“Want some? My dad told me this was probably going to happen so I snuck some in—we deserve it.” JJ holds out a piece of chocolate, half the chocolate bar—Otabek takes it, truly grateful for some kind of sustenance.

“Thanks.”

JJ’s smirk seems reinvigorated: he’s young, even in his expensive suit and tie (so much more expensive than Otabek’s but they are not going down that road—not here, not now). Otabek’s lips slant upwards as he takes a bite.

He feels flattered despite it all.

\---

JJ isn’t a friend, however, Otabek considers him good practice for what one should feel like.

He’s not sure what they are—definitely more than acquaintances, especially now. JJ is hard to define, Otabek finds that putting a label to whatever their relationship was, is daunting.

He doesn’t bother—he already has a plan after all, Yuri Plisetsky is his end goal.

\---

There are things Otabek and JJ learn about each other as the years pass, drifting between companionship and competition as they always do.

JJ dates…a lot. Different partners, different genders and all different ages—Otabek doesn’t comment. He’s actually one of the few people who doesn't, everyone's attention annoys JJ more than he lets on. (JJ’s learned to hide his irritation behind the same veneer of his personality, there are still times he slips and Otabek has learned the tells even when he’s never actually meant to).

“He’s a hockey player—well, aspiring to be one.” JJ announces as this week’s beau leaves discreetly (attempts to anyway) from his hotel room. They’re at another training camp, this time in Seoul, and unfortunately, they’re sharing a room this time. “His team has a training camp nearby.”

This is the third time Otabek’s run into JJ’s ‘friend’ in a state of undress—at least his pants are on, even if he won’t make eye contact in ways that are extremely telling. Otabek should probably be more irritated about the scenario if he wasn’t hit with a strange sort of pity. For as non-descript as Otabek’s dating life is, he can’t mistake the signs before him.

“Does it bother you?” Otabek asks, setting down his bag on his bed. JJ is already immaculate once more on his side of the room. Otabek has long since abandoned politeness in a liberating move that JJ never comments on.

JJ makes an elaborate gesture with his hands, smile worn. It’s all that Otabek needs for confirmation.

“Never mind that though—is there anyone you like? Maybe I can help you.” JJ attempts to recover, unintentionally patronizing in the tried and true sign of overcompensation. They all deal with pressure different ways—Otabek has his own armor he dons and he can’t fault anyone for their vices. The moment Otabek realized JJ’s insecurities were woven seamlessly into his speech; communication had gone a lot smoother.

Otabek thinks about focused cerulean eyes, the straight-backed discipline of a child on his way to greatness. Someone he’s so afraid to talk to even now. Yuri Plisetsky gets more and more talented each time Otabek sees him (one day, one day—he tells himself over and over).

“No.” He says instead of the name he wishes so desperately to. JJ just wants to help, Otabek finds that he doesn’t want it—not for this, not with Yuri. Otabek is biding his time—he’s cautious for better or for worse—Yuri is a goal tucked between his ribs, a fiercely kept whisper between his ears.

JJ opens his mouth to call him out on it, then sighs and thinks better of it. There are times JJ understands Otabek in equal measure.

“Alright, if you’re sure.”

Otabek’s never been so sure of anything in his life—he deflects with a pointed question about dinner plans. JJ, gracious as ever, agrees and doesn’t bring up the subject again.

\---

Everything changes the year Yuuri Katsuki rises like a phoenix from the ashes, led by Viktor Nikiforov and his all-consuming love, to retake the Grand Prix.

\---

Yuri Plisetsky, beautiful as always, shoulders squared and teeth bared—so lovely, so angry—is a vision as he makes his senior debut.

Otabek has been planning for this moment, to approach him as a fellow competitor; he’s been biding his time.

…He wasn’t counting on JJ to cut in before him.

With barely any effort JJ is able to approach Yuri—puts him through his own form of initiation for the new genius that’s following their footsteps. JJ has no reverence towards Yuri’s skating; he’s free to talk to Yuri, free to tease him, laughing as he skates past.

Yuri…Yuri gives chase…Otabek is left in the shadows…

For all his planning, for all his plotting, he had not accounted for this.

\---

“Otabek, would you like to join us?” JJ obtuse as usual, seems to have no idea that Otabek is keeping his distance on purpose. He’s engaged, because of course JJ is—he’s engaged and he still holds up a playful banter with Yuri that rankles Otabek needlessly to the core.

Otabek’s refusal for a meal slips into hostile, JJ for all of his theatrics, rolls with it. Otabek doesn’t bother humoring him—not when Yuri is there, so far away and unaware (it’s not JJ’s fault, Otabek plays it safe in all matters and it’s not his fault but Otabek is young and brash and angry).

He leaves the hotel, ignores the curious looks JJ gives him as he stomps off.

It doesn’t matter.

\---

Otabek, young and brash and angry, saves Yuri from a horde of his overzealous fans in a move that is frankly less noble and slightly more selfish in nature. Yuri, in a move that is surprising to Otabek most of all, spends the whole afternoon with him regardless.

JJ shows up at dinner of course, the mood of the crowd turning sour (JJ doesn’t help by being overtly boastful that Otabek on another occasion would have pinpointed as nerves, but he’s blinded by Yuri’s brilliance and his company) and he goes along with them as they leave.

Otabek does not look back, even if something gnaws at his stomach at the treatment.He tries to rationalize it all: JJ only ever invited him out because he was bored or lonely. Otabek doesn’t have to return the favor, they’re not friends.

He doesn’t owe JJ anything.

“Something wrong?” Yuri asks, barely a day together and he can read Otabek so well. This is what he wanted, this is fine.

Otabek continues to lead Yuri to his bike, pushing back the strange look on JJ’s face as he’d left to the back of his mind. “It’s nothing.”

\---

Otabek has never seen JJ this visibly shaken before—sinking so quickly and so far, let alone so publically. It’s not even JJ’s first Grand Prix (he placed third last year after all) yet to watch him fall so rapidly from grace…bothers Otabek.

He hangs back—turning down Yuri for dinner (just the two of them even)—and seeks out JJ. They’re competitors and he should utilize every advantage he has—all the reasons fall neatly into place and yet he can’t stop himself.

He wants to win—he will win, but not like this.

\---

“O-Otabek, I—I didn’t expect to see you.” JJ admits, not bothering to keep up the pretense of his usual exuberance.  JJ’s alone, tucked into a stairwell in haphazardly thrown on competition track pants and jacket.  

Otabek doesn’t know what to say to that, he wasn’t expecting to be here either: “What happened?”

JJ’s eyes border on manic as he motions uselessly for a minute before settling on: “Not sure—I thought of you skating, of how we finally got here to the Grand Prix and…well…”

“You were here last year; we competed last year—”

“—I know. I know. I’ve never…this hasn’t ever happened to me before.” JJ sighs, already pushing himself up from the ground. “I got scared—of you, of Yuri, of everyone. And then the thoughts wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t stop thinking of what you were thinking of me, of my fiancée—”

“—Since when do you care about what I think of you?” JJ has only ever seemingly acted within his own whims and desires.  He doesn’t like being lonely, he’s only ever dragged along Otabek as some deranged playmate. JJ was like a force of nature, unstopping and relentless.

“Of course I care what you think, you’re my friend.” JJ interjects, almost factual.   

“We’re not friends.” Otabek thinks violently, suddenly to the vitriol in Yuri’s gaze whenever JJ is mentioned, the way his eyes scan the rink for JJ, the intensity of his self-proclaimed rivalry—Otabek’s new found friendship would have a while to catch up before it could burn as bright.

Otabek’s angry…he’s angry, he’s been angry, understands all the irrationalities of his anger, but he’s been waiting so long. He’d had a plan and JJ went in and messed it all up without a care to the consequences because that’s all JJ ever does—take and take without considering the casualties.

How could they be friends when JJ clearly didn’t even understand Otabek.

“What?”

“We aren’t friends, if we were really friends you wouldn’t have—“ Otabek falters, it’s not like JJ has actually done anything with Yuri besides vague flirting and teasing, but the fury speaks for him. The jealousy that he would usually be so above is out and it fills his lungs and speaks with his tongue. “You’re engaged and you’re flirting with Yuri Plisetsky.”

“I’m just teasing him, you know like they used to do to us. I’m not interested in Yuri like that—I have a fiancée.” JJ regains enough lucidity to stare Otabek down. “Why would you think—”

“That hasn’t stopped you before.” Otabek can tell the exact moment he’s gone too far, the fury speaks through him, it’s too late he can’t stop. “You’re from a skating family, you’re bred to skate, everything in your life has been given to you—Yuri Plisetsky was the one thing I had that you didn’t and you—”

Otabek has never felt so fragile and exposed, he can’t—he can’t be here anymore. Why did he even bother coming here in the first place.

“Otabek—wait—“

Otabek turns on his heels and leaves as fast as he can, so angry that he feels like he’s vibrating from it all.

\---

In hindsight, confronting JJ after he’s had a panic attack and then screaming accusations the other didn’t understand was perhaps one of the more terrible things Otabek has done.

Otabek’s anger and petty jealousy ebb almost as soon as he reaches his hotel room before settling into a static between his ears as he recalls the conversation.

The last of Otabek’s anger dissipates, the void it leaves filling quickly with guilt. JJ had been trying to befriend him this entire time, had let Otabek into his life and Otabek had never bothered to do the same. JJ, in hindsight, had been painfully obvious—always going out of his way to talk to him, to invite him out even when he had no need too.  

JJ…who desperately needed a friend, anyone to talk to and Otabek had left him, had refused his friendship over jealousy of an imagined attachment to Yuri.

Otabek isn’t used to messing up this badly.

\---

It takes a few favors and calls until he’s eventually able to piece together where JJ’s hotel room even is. It’s late, getting later still and they have competition tomorrow—he can’t leave things like this though, guilt settling inside.

JJ’s less haggard looking than before when he opens the door—he takes one look at Otabek and his expression goes strained which Otabek deserves and should have anticipated yet finds painful.

“Can we talk?” Otabek continues anyway, because he’s not going to be able to skate unless they clear the air between them.

JJ has every right to say no, Otabek realizes when he doesn’t immediately respond—the silence is almost crushing.

“Let me get my coat.” JJ relents instead, expression unreadable.

\---

They’re walking around outside in the hotel gardens, the lights of the city almost completely drowning out the natural moonlight. It’s cold, but both of them have been through worse conditions—they continue walking around in a terse silence before Otabek breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry.” He says, admission far more intimate than he intended, it’s enough though—JJ actually stops. “You…I…if you haven’t noticed, I may have gotten a few things mixed up.”

“Mixed up?” JJ looks confused, almost like…he wasn’t expecting an apology, which, Otabek will have to reflect on the painful implications of that later, instead Otabek shrugs.

“I…I’m in love with Yuri Plisetsky. I have been for a long time—I initially saw it as admiration, then a strong desire to befriend him and I assumed that’s…that’s all there was to it. So I never…I never assumed that you and I were friends because I didn’t feel for you what I felt for Yuri.” Saying it aloud, it’s more damning than Otabek expects and it’s not exactly all but it’s the best approximation of his feelings he can give.

JJ considers him for a long moment; he opens his mouth, then closes it again…before a laugh escapes him. To his credit, he seems about as surprised as Otabek does when it escapes.

“You’re telling me…you thought we couldn’t be friends, because you’re not romantically attracted to me?” JJ surmises, fighting back another laugh. And…Otabek, when the implications fully hit him can see how…absurd it all is. “I’m not sure if I should be offended or not…”

“S-shut up.” Otabek is blushing now, he knows it, but JJ doesn’t look nearly as hunted as he did earlier, and it releases the pressure that had been building up in his chest. “My point is, we are friends, I just—I didn’t know.”

“How can you not KNOW?”

“I-I’m bad at this, you know I’m bad at this. I…I’m sorry about all of it. I didn’t mean to accuse you of cheating on your fiancée—I know you and I know you’d never do that. I…I know a lot about you actually.” Otabek isn’t sure if they’re even still friends, not with how badly he’s messed up but he wants to try. “I also know you needed someone to talk to and I didn’t—I meant to go there to help and I made everything worse. I am here though—I’m sorry that I’m late but I’m here now.”

JJ’s expressions soften, he sighs. They’re only teenagers and yet they’re the oldest competitors here (sans Chris) and it’s a strange contrast. Unlike Victor, most retire in their twenties—they’re limited by time, Otabek doesn’t want to waste anymore of his without JJ’s company.  

“You know, as great as I think I am—I’m not psychic.” JJ says exasperated, he rubs at the back of his neck, hands fidgeting. “I had no idea that you even KNEW Yuri. I don’t want you to get mad at me again if I don’t even know why you’re angry. Can we talk next time before you run off after accusing me of cheating?”

Which…fair, it’s completely fair, Otabek owes JJ that…and more. Otabek holds out his hand, a reflection of so many years ago. JJ, sentimental as always, is not lost to the deliberate gesture.

“I’m not…always going to be good at this, but would you like to try again at being friends?” Otabek says, attempting a smile.

JJ doesn’t hesitate, his hands are warm and the palms are rough and calloused—much like Otabek’s are.

“Deal.”

\---

They talk for hours. Both of them circling the hotel gardens several times as they talk about everything. It’s both new and familiar—all that Otabek learns about JJ’s life and then some. Afterwards, Otabek asks for JJ’s number first and for everything that occurred earlier, they finally retire hours later, feeling at peace.  

“So…Yuri, huh?” JJ asks, expression innocent inside the elevator. He’s calmer than before, but there’s a shake to his hands that Otabek knows he’ll have to deal with much, much later. There’s so much JJ’s going to have to work on but at this moment he seems grateful for the distraction. “Can I be best man?”

Otabek’s flush resumes in an instant: “NO.”

“Flower girl?”

“We’re not getting married!”

“…Not yet but who knows? Maybe you’ll also be yelling at us one day telling us how you’re winning gold to marry him.”

“No, I’d propose to him like a normal person.” Otabek corrects…then realizes from the glee on JJ’s face what he’s done. “Damn it.”

“It’ll happen Otabek, just you wait.” JJ vows, the engagement ring he treasured so much, a faint light on his hand. Otabek makes a show of rolling his eyes, giving a small shove that JJ laughs off.

\---

Years later, (four gold medals, one Olympic silver and one Olympic bronze) countless championships and exhibition skates later, Otabek gets engaged to Yuri.

The first person he calls, even before his family, is JJ.

“I’m going to hate your best man, aren’t I?” Time has not tempered the one-sided irritation Yuri contains for JJ, and Otabek can’t help but laugh.

“He sends his sincerest congratulations and he’s already on his way.” Otabek replies, taking Yuri’s hand to kiss the ring on his finger. Yuri melts instantly, mumbling even as he turns red at the display.

“You’re so lucky I love you.” Yuri grumbles, even as he moves to kiss him back.

Otabek is lucky, he’s got a best friend and he has Yuri—it’s more than he’s ever seen for himself. Montreal is a long flight to Moscow and Otabek can’t wait to talk to JJ when he finally does arrive.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about everything--this was so shamelessly self-serving. Please let them be friends--I need this season 2, if you happen, when you happen. Also please, please talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/badtouches) about JJ and Otabek as friends or a couple or like with Yuri between--just them two in general they are both lovely and I have so many feelings.


End file.
